Know When to Fold Them

“Know when to fold them…”

In his classic song, The Gambler, Kenny Rogers sang “You have to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” It is a great song and applicable to many situations… including the one I am writing about today.

As longtime readers of my blog will know, I never intended to be connected to the life of cadets of The Citadel after my son graduated in 2011. I passed along the leadership roles I held as the Georgia Citadel Parent Rep, and the Area Rep Coordinator for the Citadel Family Association before he graduated. What I did not anticipate were the many new parents who found my previous blog posts for the military blog site, Off the Base, who would then send emails and even call me to ask for advice. I certainly never expected to be connected to the school seven years after “my” graduation day.

I tell people I am basically lazy. After getting a few emails and calls post-graduation, I decided that since most of the early questions from parents are the same, it would be easier and less time consuming to just post the tips and information to my own blog. It then became apparent that a more interactive platform was needed for parents to ask questions and get answers, so I started that with the parents of the Class of 2016.

While my son was a cadet, I was a company rep volunteer and then area rep for the Citadel Family Association. During that time, Facebook groups were developed. In the early years those groups were helpful, but, unfortunately, also a source for rumors, bullying, and misinformation perpetrated by individuals who sadly harbored personal agendas.

Keeping in mind the harmful and insensitive interactions I saw happening in the groups that included parents of cadets of all classes, and knowing some basics in counseling and pastoral care, I developed the first parent group by class in 2012. The idea was simple, start a group for parents of students in the class of 2016 only and add a few of my trusted friends who were parents of recent graduates to offer guidance, support and advice.

The first year the group grew to over 350 members. It was a learning process. Not everyone was on board with the concept of straight information. Drama and/or rumors became a need for many. As the years progressed, rules and guidelines developed. Advice was tweaked and I built relationships with key staff on campus to ensure the information shared was accurate and current. Each year when the new packing list was published in the “Success Packet” I’d review it to make sure the new parents stayed with the school sanctioned list and not be conflicted by random advice given by parents of previous cadets. Today there are parent groups for the classes of 2016 to the current knob Class of 2022.

In 2014 my alma mater, Columbia Theological Seminary, gave me the “Pioneer in Ministry Award” for my ongoing work with cadet parents. I wrote about what I considered my unique call to serve in a blog post you can read HERE. From June 2014-2015 I was a chaplain resident at the Atlanta VA Medical Center. It was a rewarding and educational year. While I was extremely busy with my work there I was still maintaining the support groups for new parents. I also tried to let staff at The Citadel know there was a real need for the school to be more involved with proactive communication with parents. The Citadel Family Association is only for parents of current cadets and there was no place in the CFA for parents of graduates. I met with staff in The Citadel Foundation Office, then later met with the new provost at the time, Dr. Connie Book. A couple of years ago, Dr. Book brought Navy Capt. Taylor Skardon over to the Provost office where he became the parent liaison among other duties.

Each year in the parent groups leading up to matriculation day I offered a dinner invitation for first year parents who might want to get together in a casual environment after a stressful drop off matriculation morning.. We usually had a group of 40-50 meet at Tommy Condon’s restaurant. The summer the Class of 2020 was matriculating the numbers outgrew Condon’s. With the help of The Citadel Club of Charleston and The Citadel Foundation, we held a BBQ dinner at the Holliday Alumni Center. It was successful, over 230 people attended. After I planned this first dinner at the HAC, Capt. Skardon assumed the matriculation night dinner planning for the next two years.

I wrote Capt Skardon in the fall of 2016. I had authored a white paper on how and why the parent groups by class were formed. I explained why the groups have the rules they do and why only parents of graduates are in the group as advisors. Since Capt. Skardon was the new parent liaison, I offered to pass the groups along to him. He called a meeting with the staff liaison to the CFA and the CFA leadership. I attended the meeting fully expecting I would relinquish my leadership role of the groups. I was surprised when Capt. Skardon asked me to continue my volunteer work because the current staff did not have the required time. After that meeting, we developed a system of communication between the communication chair of the CFA, Capt. Skardon and me to disseminate accurate information to parents.

Here we are almost two years after that meeting. The groups have grown in size each year. There are over 980 members in the group for 2022 parents. There are more than 3,250 members in the four groups for current parents. The work is rewarding. Many wonderful connections and friendships have been made. The groups are so active that they caught the eye of the corporate office of Facebook in California. I was invited to attend the first ever 2017 Facebook Communities Summit in Chicago as one of 100 group admins who created successful Facebook groups and are building communities.

The goal of the groups has always been to provide a safe place for anxious parents to get accurate information. The groups are most active knob year. The activity picks up again second semester junior year leading up to senior year and ring weekend and graduation. To help with the volume of information that is shared, parents from within each group were added to help administer and moderate the groups. A private group was formed for the moderators. I continued to stay in close contact with Capt. Skardon to help provide accurate timely information to parents. I did tell Capt. Skardon that management of the groups had outdistanced my volunteer capacity and I’d either have to receive small monetary compensation or I’d have to move on.

Subsequently, a decision has been made for the school, through the Citadel Family Association volunteers, to begin moderating groups for the incoming parents of the class of 2023. I am the creator of the current groups and have promised that no staff would be added to them. I will continue to be a member in the groups I created, and the parent volunteers will take over the day-to-day administration of them. A staff person or two will be added to the private group for administrators so information can be shared from staff to the admin group then shared with parents in the 2019 – 2022 parent groups. Beginning with the class of 2023, the parent group will be maintained by the Citadel Family Association and their volunteers.

I like to think the groups have served the original purpose, to provide a safe space for new parents to find support and information. I look forward to following the cadet careers of the young men and women I’ve had the honor getting to know, some of whom have become my “adopted” sons and daughters. I’ll still be in the groups I started but as a silent member there to support the parent administrators and facilitate introductions between admins and staff.

So as the song goes, I’ll be walking away (but watching from a distance).

Go Bulldogs!

 

 

Letting Go: A Hard Task for Parents

Reporting in at the desk in the sallyport (entry way to the barracks)

***2/10/2019 Please note: I am no longer updating the blog posts for Citadel parents. See the official school website for the most up to date information***

Each year about this time I post this advice. The most important thing for parents to do before August is outlined below.

Sending a child to a military college adds an extra layer of anxiety for some parents. If your student has selected this road less traveled, they need to be the ones to carry to responsibility of getting prepared. That includes keeping up with assessments and assignments, physical training, etc.

Most families do need to be involved with purchasing the items they will need since the student doesn’t usually have the finances without parental support. Even with purchases, it should be the student to decide what brand/style to buy.

 

The 2022 parent Facebook group is to help answer general questions, and to refer you to the proper office or contact on campus. Your primary resource for questions about things on campus should be the school website and staff. Use the search window to find answers to your questions. The admissions office and commandant’s office are both great resources. Once your student reports there is a parent liaison on campus to help answer your general questions/concerns and ombudspersons are confidential resources.

The most important task for parents is to step back and let your student take the lead in preparations. This is such a consistent issue with new parents, it is addressed in several blog posts here, just put “letting go” in the blog search window to read previous posts. I’ve posted a link to some of them below.

If you are used to being in touch via text, computer, or phone throughout the day, start now to cut back on your communication. If you don’t it will be extra hard for you when they are without their cell phones and computers the first 7+ days after they report.

Your student will be the one to have to deal with the consequences of their decisions. The entire system at The Citadel is based on taking personal responsibility for your actions or inaction, and learning how to pull together with your classmates. There are rewards and consequences that are enforced. To read about the 4th Class System and leadership training visit the page of the Office of Assistant Commandant for Leadership Programs

A parent is not doing their student a favor by doing all their prep work for them. In fact you are doing them a disservice. If you are the parent who helped your student keep up with their assignments through high school, they may not have learned time management, or good study habits. Begin letting go now before they report. Start with letting your student keep up with the assessments and list of items to pack, once it is published. If they get to campus and don’t have an item the cadet store has all the essentials plus extras.

Many, many students and their parents are well prepared for the 4th class system. Those families will have other challenges this next year. Like other aspects of life, each student is on their own path.

Parents: Step away from the new parent Facebook group and the school website and just check in once a week. There is a tendency for nervous parents to check in every day, throughout the day. That is not healthy. Let your student be the one to keep up with the preparations like their physical fitness and checking their email and the school website for updates.

Parents, your biggest task the next several weeks is to enjoy time with your student and family before they report

Previous posts about Letting go:

Matriculation Day: The Hardest Part for Parents is Letting Go

Uniformity, Lists and Letting Go

Transitions and Letting Go

Matriculation Tips for the Parents of the Class of 2021

The schedule as found on the Matriculation Headquarters page: http://www.citadel.edu/root/matriculationhq

 

Updated 7/31/2017

See this link for official information about Matriculation Day: http://www.citadel.edu/root/freshmen-matriculation-day

The Citadel,  Class of 2021 reports the morning of August 12. (For Athletes see this link) By now the soon-to-be knobs, and their parents, should be checking the Matriculation Headquarters page each week for updates. Read EVERY link on the page and print out the schedule and traffic diagram in addition to the forms that must be turned in that morning. Summer assessments should be completed, some by August 1.

A few tips to prepare for weekend:

• Be sure you have made hotel reservations.
• Put your knob’s name in the People Search window to find their mailing address.  Send letters to arrive the first week. Wait to send boxes until after the first week.  See this link for how to address mail to a cadet. DO NOT use nicknames.
• Do attend “The Gathering” in the chapel Friday at 5:00 to hear about the various religious and fellowship groups on campus.
• The knob should bring their wallet with state issued ID, like a driver’s license. It helps to have a little money, $20 or so with them in case they have an opportunity to buy snacks. Some years they have the chance to buy pizza as a fundraiser at the end of Challenge week.
• The knob should wear a plain shirt, shorts, a belt if the shorts have belt loops, white ankle socks, and their athletic shoes. If they already have the white ankle socks and athletic shoes on they won’t have to search for them as soon as they have to change.
• Drive to campus from your hotel the day before so you will know how to get to the Holliday Alumni Center. (See Traffic Diagram here and print it out for easy reference later) Getting lost Saturday morning can really add to the stress of the knob. (Ask me how I know)
• Be sure you have a full tank of gas. You wait in your car in a long line Saturday morning. You won’t want to be the family that ran out of gas before you report.
• Say your real goodbye’s before you leave the hotel or your home. Once you arrive on campus things move quickly and the knob’s time will not be their own.
• The knobs turn in their cell phones when they go into the barracks. They should be sure to have them fully charged and turn them off before they walk in. They won’t get them back for at least a week. Many knobs end up having to charge their phones before they can make their first call home.
• Arrive on the early side. The line starts around 6:30am. Check-in begins at 7:00 am. It will be hot. Arriving early means it will be a chilly 85-90 versus 90-100.
• Once you get to the barracks the Citadel Family Association volunteers will be there to help unload your car and let you know where to move your car. They have blue shirts on and all of them have been in your shoes.
• Parents and family can go into the barracks, but you do not unpack your student.
• Do take a photo behind closed doors, you’ll be glad you have that first day of knob year photo later. Do not make a fuss over your knob at all on campus that day.
• Once the boxes are unloaded the knob reports in on their own. (With their FERPA form if they have not already sent it in and the OCM form printed and filled out) Parents must wait with the boxes.
• Once the knob comes out you’ll do what he or she tells you to do. How things happen from here can vary by company and each year the process is fine tuned based on the current cadet leadership.
• All families must be out of the barracks by 10am. Many families leave earlier because their son or daughter is ready to start their process .
• There is an information fair in the McAlister fieldhouse. It is a great time to get your questions answered and meet people from various departments. The fieldhouse is air-conditioned and there are restrooms, and water fountains.
• The President, Commandant and the Citadel Family Association rep address parents after the information fair. It is a great place to visit to get information and cool off.

FAQ

• Your knob will find out their company the morning of Matriculation.
• Legacy and Band Company knobs still must go through the check in process at the Holliday Alumni Center. It is how they keep track of who has reported.
• Extended family members can come with you, but you should be aware there is a lot of standing and waiting around. Ask your son or daughter who they want to drop them off. One good option is to have everyone stay at the hotel and only a few go to campus that morning. No knob wants to call extra attention to themselves that day.
• If you have young children, bring quiet toys, snacks and water.
• If you have older family members or family with disabilities that make standing difficult, bring a folding chair.
• The presentation in the Fieldhouse should be over by 11:45 the administration will be available to answer questions afterward.
• You can attend Sunday worship but you will not interact with your son or daughter. They are divided into groups for worship, Protestant, Catholic, Anglican, and Ethics seminar.
• The oath ceremony takes place Monday evening on Summerall Field. The school has live streamed it in the past. It is a short, less than 15 minute, ceremony. (See last years video here) Watch the school webpage and Facebook page for details. If you are in town you can attend. You will not interact with your son or daughter and may not be able to tell which knob is yours since they will be dressed alike and have no hair, or little hair in the case of the women knobs.
• If you need to reach your knob’s company or battalion TAC officer after you leave the campus see this directory. 
• The Ombudsperson’s are a confidential resource for cadets, faculty staff and parents too.
• The Parents resource page is very helpful throughout the year. Email parents@citadel.edu with your questions.

NOTE: Parents of the Class of 2021, if you haven’t already, join the Facebook group, The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2021. Go to the page request to join, then answer the screening questions to let me know you are the parent of a knob. Email me with any questions. PLEASE note the group is for parents of knobs only. Please let your extended family members know they will not be approved to join the group.

Other links for first year parents:

Freshman parent page (read all links) especially the Matriculation Day page

2017-2018 Parade Schedule 

Commandant’s Calendar for 2017 – 2018  (note Open and Closed weekends don’t really apply to knobs . They designate when Upperclass cadets can have overnights. Knobs do not have overnight privileges first semester.  Qualified Knobs (with no punishments) can go off campus for General Leave most weekends, but must be back by 12 midnight)

For blog posts about knob year for parents see the entry below and the entries linked at the bottom of the Knob Year Notes for parents entry.

Knob Year Notes for Parents

In 2015 I had the opportunity to take a knob from CA to campus for Matriculation Day. This video includes photos from that day and the days afterward.

 

Reporting in at teh desk in teh sallyport (entry way to the barracks)

Lining up to meet the 1st SGT

Meeting the 1st SGT

Meeting the 1st SGT

Citadel Family Association “Blue Shirt” volunteers carry boxes in for a knob.

2017 Facebook Communities Summit

Almost a month ago I attended the first ever Facebook Communities Summit. It was a surreal opportunity that quite literally fell in to my lap via a private message on Facebook.

In February of this year I received a private message from a person named Kyle who asked if I would be open to talking to him about my experience with Facebook groups. He found me through his search for groups in South Carolina.

Between moderating Facebook groups for parents with Cadets at The Citadel and also having written about being an Army mom I get some strange unsolicited private messages. I was not sure this Kyle person was legit, so I did what I do when I’m not sure about someone and Googled Kyle. I soon found out that yes, Kyle was in fact with Facebook. We arranged to talk by phone the first week of March. I gave him my feedback on groups and how they have really helped new parents learn about being a supportive, but not meddling, parent of a cadet. The conversation lasted less than 30 minutes. That was it, or so I thought.

A month later in April I received another message from Kyle asking for my email address. This time he wanted to send an invitation to apply for the 2017 Facebook Communities Summit. I was told it would be held in Chicago. The people who are selected to attend would have to get to the host hotel but then everything would be taken care of by Facebook, the hotel room, and meals from Wednesday June 21 to Friday afternoon June 23. I filled out the application and didn’t really think about it again. After all there are millions of groups, some far bigger and with broader outreach than my groups for parents with students at a small military college with less than 2500 members of the entire Corps of Cadets.

May 2 I received an email letting me know I had been selected to attend the Summit!! It was only at this point that I researched what this Summit was about. To my surprise I discovered Mark Zuckerberg issued what was being called by the press a Manifesto about Building Global Communities. Several articles were written about the Summit, none of which I read or even heard about before my new friend Kyle got in touch with me. After reading up on the opportunity I had been given I really became excited.

The invitation stated I could invite two other admins from my groups. I did ask the two parents who have been helping answer questions in my groups, but they weren’t able to attend. I made my plane reservations and began getting really excited about attending this historic event. I had no idea just how neat this Summit would be.

I arrived in Chicago the early afternoon of June 21. We were told ahead of time that we would be staying at the Hilton Chicago on Michigan Ave. The Facebook staff sent us a general itinerary, but we were not told exactly where our meeting venues would be. It made for some pretty funny conversations. “I’m going to Chicago for a meeting. A guy I don’t know invited me. He’s paying for my hotel. We’ll be going to an undisclosed location for a couple of days.”

From the time I arrived at the hotel it was obvious this would be a first class event. The hotel was amazing. The Facebook staff lined the way to the registration area. Registration was efficient and the tone was upbeat. My room was beautiful. I went to lunch at Lou Malnati’s for a taste of Chicago and later met my cousin’s daughter who works in Chicago. When I returned to my room a welcome bag was sitting on my bed, complete with a welcome letter and a card with stats from one of my groups.

Our opening reception was held at a neat venue that was an upscale food court. We could go from station to station to try all types of delicious food while we met our fellow attendees. One of the highlights of my visit to Chicago was meeting a fellow attendee on the ride to the reception. His name is Phil and he works in the nonprofit arena. We quickly found we shared many common interests. He is the founding admin of the Albinism Community group on Facebook.  Throughout the night I met scores of admins from a wide variety of groups. In one area of the facility they had a banner set up. The group admins were encouraged to write the name of our group on a piece of paper and leave it for the artists who would draw their rendering of what the group is about onto the banner over the course of the Summit. I enjoyed visiting their progress.

Thursday morning began with a great breakfast buffet at the hotel. There was a long line to be seated but I saw my new friend Phil at a table by himself and decided to invite myself to join him. It was a great start to the day to hear about his work with children.

 

With Phil on the shuttle ride to our “undislosed meeting location.”

We rode to the meeting venue which was in an area of town that I was told is the meat-packing district that has turned into an arts community area. Phil and I decided to head right to the room where the opening Keynote would take place to try to get a good seat to hear Mark Zuckerberg speak. Even though we got there early it was hard to find a seat with a good view. Phil had requested accommodations for his low vision. We ended up with aisle seats right near the front of the meeting room!

Our seats near the front of the room

 

If you haven’t heard it already, you can see and hear the talk given by Mark Zuckerberg here on this link. I was thrilled to see my photo that is used on as the cover of one of my groups was shown right behind Mark! (lower right in the photo below) He was very impressive in his presentation and message. He set the tone for the rest of the Summit.

 

We were told we were brought together to not only learn about new tools for Facebook group admins, but to also give the Facebook staff feedback. I must say here that everyone I met that works for Facebook was very personable, bright and compared to me, very young. They are truly an impressive group. I left feeling a bit envious of their work environment.

We were divided into four separate groups and rotated through four different meeting rooms throughout the day both Thursday and Friday. I was in the “Circle” group.

I need to take a break now for some meeting planner geeky observations. The entire meeting facility was outfitted in custom-made backdrops for this meeting. The theme was carried throughout all the printed materials, room set up and design. The break area called the “Together” room had a large interactive display with the word Together spelled out. On either side of the long spelled out word were tables with fresh flowers. Attendees were encouraged to place the flowers into the letters of the word TOGETHER. Several long banquet tables were set up and that is where our lunch and snacks were displayed. The food was amazing.

For dinner we were whisked away in our motor coaches to the Adler Planetarium for dinner. It was the perfect facility to host a diverse group of Facebook staff, group administrators and speakers who were breaking new ground in building community where the sky is the limit. From the opening reception time with a photo booth and open bar, to the beautifully appointed tables in a room overlooking Lake Michigan, ending with a reception and dance afterward it was the perfect ending to a jam-packed day.

Friday was a much like Thursday where each group rotated in and out of breakout meetings. Phil and I had first row seats for the opening session. He told me his freinds at home like to take him to concerts since they always get great seats. I was thrilled to see the cover photo for The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2021 used as part of the back drop during the opening session with Naomi Gleit,  VP of Social Good at Facebook.

Naomi Gleit, VP of Social Good at Facebook opens the Friday morning session. Note the photo to the lower left from the group I admin, The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2021.

I continued to meet fascinating people, including one young man who is scheduled to do a space jump in August. He showed me a few articles about his planned jump. I decided right then to follow his progress and told him he would be in my prayers.

The most fun I had that day was in a session with the comedian Brian Babylon. We were broken up into smaller groups to discuss the unusual things we experience as admins in Facebook groups. Once the group decided on a few fun scenarios the sheets were shared with Brian Babylon of, “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” on NPR, who acted like he was the host of a talk show and the selected members of our group were called up one by one to be “interviewed” about our experience as admins. In the Circle group we had members discuss pooping in the woods stories from a hiking group to fishing stories from a Texas-based fishing group then I was called up to be interviewed. I discussed the fact that every year in the groups for new Citadel parents I have to discuss the differences in men’s underwear. We had fun discussing “tighty whites”, boxer briefs, compression shorts and regular boxers then moved on to  how odd it is for a chaplain to be in these types on conversations. It was a fun light-hearted session.

The speakers, the venue, the food were all amazing. The Summit ended with a toast at the very end. It truly was a surreal few days. I am still processing the expereince weeks after it ended. The attendees are connected in a group set up for Aumni of the Summit. I don’t post must to the group but I do read the group wall often and continue to learn how to be a better admin.

A big THANK YOU to the staff of Facebook for an incredible expereince.

Some photos from the Summit follow.

Our lunch and break area:

The customized banner:

A few new freinds:

Brian Babylon and a few of his guests from the Circle group:

 

The Acquisition of Memories, Part 1

“The business of life is the acquisition of memories.” 

Carson, the butler on Downtown Abbey

If Carson is right and the business of life is the acquisition of memories, I’ve had a very busy business week. If you consider the fact that I do not work full-time right now the fact that I’ve been busy at all is remarkable.

Soon-to-be-members of The Citadel, Class of 2021 with Atlanta Citadel Club president, Gregory Horton and Vice President, Michael Escoe at the end of the Atlanta Citadel Club’s Annual Send off Dinner.

I’ve just lived through one of the most incredible weeks. It began on June 16 with the annual Knob Send off Dinner hosted by the Atlanta Citadel Club (ACC). I was honored by being placed at the head table with the the president and vice president of the ACC. I was also asked to say the blessing for the meal and later address the new families. This year marks ten years since I was the parent of an incoming knob at The Citadel. I was nervous and anxious, but the mom of a current cadet I sat net to at the time was so helpful and welcoming my nerves were calmed a bit. The turn out for the dinner was great. If you are the parent of a student who will be in The Citadel Class of 2017, please join the Facebook group for parents.

June 17 I went on my first “ride along” with the Roswell Fire department. As a member of the inaugural Community Emergency Response Team class, and now the Chaplain for the Roswell Fire Department, it was very exciting opportunity. The Fire fighters at Station 1 made me feel right at home. As they handled their morning routine I asked a gazillion questions and they answered each of them with patience. I am glad I asked many of the questions because later that afternoon we went out on a call along with several stations including some from neighboring towns. I rode int eh the big truck with two fire fighters from station 1. It was quite a bumpy ride as we sped through town with the sirens and lights flashing. Riding facing the back gave me an interesting perspective of how drivers react when an emergency response vehicle needs to get through traffic.

As the fire fighters went to work I was struck at how quickly the team came together. I’ve studied emergency response through the online classes FEMA offers. I was a Disaster Assistance Volunteer (DAT) with the Red Cross fro a few years too. This call brought all that studying to life. While the team came together I spoke to the EMT’s who were with the family.

I spent some time with the family as they sat and watched the smoke billowing out of their home. After about 20 minutes the neighbors began to show up offering help. Once the fire was under control the fire inspector came in. I was able to observe the process of finding the cause of the fire.

Through the whole experience I was struck by the professionalism and caring of our first responders. We left the scene several hours later. I have some amazing memories from that day.

Visiting with Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed, June 20, 2017

After Saturday there was no time to rest as I was called by my dear friend Soumaya who asked me to help her put together a dinner with the staff of Mayor Reed of the City of Atlanta. The dinner June 20 was to be the first ever Iftar Dinner hosted by a mayor of Atlanta. Soumaya is the founder of the Islamic Speakers Bureau of Atlanta, a nonprofit organization that helps to build understanding of the Islamic faith through education. I’ve worked with Soumaya and her board on a few events the past few years. It was an honor to help with this historic event.

Within just a few days a dinner for 150 people at City Hall was pulled together. Unfortunately the Monday before the Tuesday dinner Soumaya learned that her father was gravely ill and died that evening. I met with Soumaya at her home to go over all the details for the dinner the next evening. It was an honor to work the event, but more so to be with my dear friend as she began the mourning process for her dear father.

Tuesday, June 20 there was a massive rain storm which did not damped the evening, although the streets were a rushing river of drain off. The food was amazing and the Mayor presented Soumaya with the highest civilian Award, The Phoenix Award.

The next day I flew to Chicago for the 2017 Facebook Communities Summit. It was such a whirlwind trip that I will write about it separately.

2017 Matriculation Headquarters Page is Posted

Entering knobs place their belongings on the side walk outside the barracks and go to check in. Family members wait by the belongings.

I just received word that the new Matriculation Headquarters page is posted. Long time readers will notice some major changes in layout and information.

The main changes to the Success packet is the addition of an iron and ironing board (either travel size or full size) and that the Nice to Have List is no longer posted. I’ve been told by the admissions office that the Commandant’s Office felt that knobs were reporting with too many things the past few years so knobs should only bring what is on the new Success Packet list.

For tips and links for items on the Success Packet List go to Cadet Parent Advice.

Welcome to The Citadel Parents of the Class of 2021

***2/10/2019 Please note: I am no longer updating the blog posts for Citadel parents. See the official school website for the most up to date information***

NOTE: This is an outdated post.

Each year for the past five years I’ve posted a group to support parents of incoming knobs at The Citadel. It is now time to announce the group for parents of the Class of 2021, The Citadel: Parents of the Class of 2021

Please note the parent groups by class are for the parents/guardians of the incoming cadet recruit (they aren’t cadets until Parents Weekend). While I understand there are family members who are very proud, the groups are limited to the parents only. Family members can follow the school via social media: Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat(TheCitadel1842), YouTube, Instagram, and Periscope.

The Citadel Family Association and the Parents page on the school web site are both great resources. Their web sites are accessible to anyone. The page for Freshman Parents features a series of helpful pages linked on the left hand side of the page (when accessed via computer). I highly recommend parents and their high school senior read through the Important Conversation page and watch the video there.

The Citadel Family Association web pages have very helpful information too including the Nice to Have List of items found on the Resources for Families page along with other helpful information. All new parents should read through the Frequently Asked Questions page before Matriculation Day.

In the weeks and months to come I’ll post additional information and links geared towards new families. Be sure to send me an email or private message via Facebook after you request to join the group for 2021 parents. I verify each request to join the group to make sure only parents and guardians are accepted. Receiving an email makes the approval process go quicker. My email address is: Dorie at dorielgriggs dot com

Once a parent is accepted to the group they are asked to read and acknowledge the post pinned to the top of the page which outlines the basic ground rules for membership in the group.

A note about social media and cadets: It is best to tighten up the security of all social media platforms. Knobs should keep a low profile until their Recognition Day, the day the 4th Class system ends and they become full members of the Corps of Cadets. In addition to security settings an incoming knob should not use any Citadel related hashtags nor should they post photos wearing Citadel apparel.

Citadel Club of Charleston Hosts The Lowcountry Open

On occasion I am asked to help promote events. The Citadel Club of Charleston is hosting The Lowcountry Open event to benefit Palmetto Warrior Connection, a charity that supports veterans in South Carolina. While the club is the sponsor of the event anyone can participate.

If you are in a position to be a sponsor, participant, or volunteer, please contact the leadership of the tournament and share this post in your circles. The tournament takes place after Spring semester ends so cadets can participate and/or volunteer as well. Registration opens this week. Late entry fees begin April 16.

The following promotion information was posted to the parent groups on Facebook:

The Citadel Club of Charleston is the owner and host of The Lowcountry Open; a Charleston-based offshore, nearshore and inshore fishing tournament.

Many committee members are directly connected to military services throughout the Lowcountry, the board unanimously agreed the charitable proceeds should benefit veterans. Palmetto Warrior Connection based in Charleston is the title charity for the event. 95% of charitable contributions to the Palmetto Warrior Connection goes to support veterans within South Carolina. 

We trust the sponsors will feel equally honored to help make this tournament a success!

If you would like information about tournament sponsorship opportunities, or know someone who would be interested, please contact the Tournament Chairman: Ty Holland, ’95: info@thelowcountryopen.com.

Additionally, you can see tournament and sponsorship details on the website, www.thelowcountryopen.com.

Everyone is invited and welcomed as sponsors, anglers, spectators or volunteers.

 

 

 

Winter Furlough Notes for Citadel Parents

Luminaries light a path toward 2nd Battalion December 2 after the Candlelight Service in Summerall Chapel

Winter furlough begins today for cadets at The Citadel. A time to celebrate to be sure.

Some will be thrilled with the grades their cadet achieved this semester. Others will not have fared that well and you’ll most likely have questions. The notes and links below should answer most of your questions. The links below will also bring you to the pages to find contact information for the appropriate person or department to address your questions. While this advice is manly for first year families, parents of cadets in all years may find the links helpful

• If your cadet needs academic support they should see the Academic Support Center the beginning of second semester. If the grades were really not up to standard, your cadet will need to communicate with their academic adviser and possibly the Dean. This page for Academic Advising FAQs may help answer a few questions.
• If you or your cadet will need to contact someone on campus, be aware the offices are closed from Dec. 22 – Jan. 2. See this press release for Winter Furlough Hours of Operation
• Throughout the year if you have a question about something on campus and you aren’t sure who to talk to on campus, you can ask a few people.
  • Contact the parent liaison in the Provost office. The email and phone number are listed at the bottom of this page for Parents.
  • Contact an Ombudsperson
  • Contact the Citadel Family Association volunteer for your cadet’s company and/or battalion
• The cadets should already know where to check for their report times back to campus on the training schedule. They should also be aware of all the information, including emergency contact numbers, listed in the Winter Furlough memo from the Commandant and Regimental Memos page. A list for parents of furlough dates and procedures can be found in the memo from the Commandant’s office. The link is on the Matriculation Information page on the Office of the Commandant page.

If you’ve read this blog for a while you’ll already know this next bit of information. As I mentioned in this post from 2012, the beginning of second semester is tough for all cadets, knobs to seniors. They’ve just spent close to a month at home visiting with family and friends. Coming back to cadet life, getting up early, PT in the cold dark days of winter, is a tough reality.

For parents of knobs, if your son or daughter hasn’t questions their decision to attend The Citadel before, January and February are the months you may field that call. If you do get “the call” remind them that they are stronger than they think they are, encourage them to talk to their classmates. Once they talk to their classmates and other friends in the Corps they will realize they are not alone. It’s still tough but they will get through it. Remind them that Recognition Day is not too far off, March 17, this year.

This experience is so common the cadets have a name for it, the PG version is F’d up February. It is also tough when their friends decide for a variety of reasons not to return.

If you are a family with a student who has decided to leave The Citadel, I wish you and your student the best in their next endeavors.

My best wishes to all The Citadel cadets and families this holiday season.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah-Chanukah, Happy New Year!!

 

 

An Update for Long Time Followers

Long time followers of my blog will know I have not been updating here as often as in previous years. You see, I’ve been debating whether it’s really been helpful, or if my blog posts interfere with what The Citadel administration wants to do now that they have a parent liaison in the Provost office who updates the Parent page on the school website.

To put to rest any questions I wrote to Captain Taylor Skardon to ask what he would like me to do. I offered to pass long the parent Facebook groups that I administer and to refer all parent questions to the Citadel Family Association and to Capt. Skardon.

On Friday, Dec. 2, I met with Capt Skardon, Shamus Gillen of the admissions office and the Citadel Family Association staff liaison and two officers of the CFA. At that meeting I was asked to be the new Area Rep Coordinator for the CFA. The area rep position can be filled by the parent of a graduate, unlike the company and battalion reps. While the details of how this will proceed are still being worked out, I will now be an official volunteer with the school, in addition to already being the Parent Committee chair of the Atlanta Citadel Club. The basic idea is to have a working relationship to bridge The Citadel Family Association with local alumni clubs and the Citadel Alumni Association. In the months ahead more information will become available about how to get involved.

Bottomline, I will now proceed with official approval.